Well over a year ago, in conversation
My son told me he was ‘chalant’
I told him that wasn’t a word
He insisted it was
I insisted it wasn’t
My son is an extremely laid back young man
He could be late for something he cares about
And still saunter from the car to the door when I drop him off
I have literally never seen him run
I assumed he meant nonchalant
Because, well, he is
But it turns out, he is sometimes, out in the wild
More invested, proactive and engaged
Not afraid of people seeing his interest and care
And thereby referred to by some as chalant
A term I found both incorrect and ludicrous
Until about 5 months ago when I started seeing articles about being chalant
Popping up everywhere
This idea of being unabashedly emotionally available
I had to call my son and eat crow
Luckily, he’s pretty gracious about it
It’s not the first time I’ve had to update my files
Via a little scuffle with my kids I was sure I was right about
It feels that somewhere between puberty and driver’s licenses
The dynamic shifted
The flow of information no longer went from me to them
But slowly began to reverse
Instead of me informing them
They began updating me
It’s humbling
And often hilarious
And it makes me feel better about the future
I was happy to learn that my laid-back son isn’t afraid to be present and engaged
Indeed, he told me
“I can’t wait to see how emotionally intelligent my kids are’
‘Oh yeah?’ I asked
“Yeah. I mean, you’re so much more emotionally intelligent than your parents
And i’m so much more emotionally intelligent than you…”
After I stopped laughing
And maybe wanting to kick him
In all his sincerity and all of mine
I kindof like that what I think I know isn’t necessarily ‘right’ anymore
That new things are always emerging
I just hope I can keep up
