I polish the orb of spiritual devotion as a vocation
My belief in the Divine as All is ever-revealed the more softly I look, the more openly I feel
Everything in life is singing
We are all humming along
Creating.
Relating.
Attention as currency
We invest in what we value
Or what we’re compelled by
Isn’t it beautiful when those two things are the same?
When attention isn’t hijacked
I’m still trying to slow down enough to discern the trigger
That moves my attention from polishing the orb of my appreciation
To inadvertently pushing it down a slippery slope to a well of despair/dread/insecurity
This is the conundrum with which I began this journey
How can so much of my life be so replete
And this existential insecurity sometimes take over
The polarity is alive within my life as peace interspersed by panic at varying intervals and intensities
And even while peace has the bulk of the real estate
It doesn’t take long for a tornado to tear up a town
I was just reading about the triumphs of community after disasters
How the swell of need brings a focal point for our natural care, love, service, compassion, connection
We want to make a difference in each others’ lives
We just often don’t know how
Care is a current
I feel like I look into it as if it were double dutch ropes
Waiting for my opportunity, tripping with my attempts
But I know what it feels like to jump in rhythm
I know what it feels like to be in community where those who temporarily have more can fill the gaps for those who temporarily have less
But I also live in a world with a freshly minted trillionaire
As the world burns
So, living with the full spectrum of what’s happening
Perhaps it makes sense I’d vacillate between connected wonder and abject horror
Here’s what I want:
I don’t want the orb of wonder on a pedestal it can fall from
I want to quit wearing smooth the incline of insecurity that allows attention to fall
Like a marble through a vertical maze each time the world seems unacceptable or unaccepting
I want to cultivate a rich loamy soil
Terrain my wonder can traverse
And be shaped by.
Meditation and somatic practice open and clear my relational channels within and without
But the nuance I’m going for here
As I look at how I want to treat myself and move through the world
Is entirely relational
Where my inner first responder can care for my lamenting victim without either part feeling shame
Receiving care as well as giving it, and giving it freely
Letting it be part of the community of me in the vastness of ongoing creation
Recognizing that wonder, grief, outrage, tenderness, helplessness, and service are not competing realities
But movements within the same field.
This field.
The field we share.
Humming along.
